Nothing quite like a case of the maternal crabs.

So my mother and Jaye’s mom were supposed to come and visit with my nephew this week. I’ve been planning for about a month, getting stuff ready for people. They’ve never seen the new place we’re in. I bought my mom and nephew the plane tickets. Jaye’s mom was the one who kept asking what we were doing this summer. I felt obligated to create some kind of vacationy happening for her. That’s why I invited my mom also, who I have an awkward relationship with anyway. Over the last two months, Jaye’s mom’s been hemming and hawing about committing. I mean she was at first, but once I planned it, she sounded like, “Oh sure, sounds great!” but no exact date of arrival. So last night I texted her about when her plane was getting in and she said that she couldn’t make it, gave me a bunch of reasons why she couldn’t make it… Drs appointments that sounded routine or those that could wait until she got back. She’s done this before, so while I was pretty irked, I’m not surprised. I’m not inviting her to shit ever again. Also, this morning my mother called me crying and said she couldn’t come because she has SCABIES. ..yeah. Scabies. I actually laughed into the phone. She’s 70. She has no idea how she got them. I believe her.. She had to look up what scabies were. I have so many last minute people coming to the house first thing in the morning to prepare for their arrival. Today we had the window washers, the tv guy, a handyman. Tomorrow we’ll have a painter, the cleaning people, and the gardener come at 8 fucking am because my mom’s plane comes in a 10am. Yesterday, I bought a tree for the atrium. Yeah. A fucking tree. Not one of them little ficus trees, neither. Seriously, I want to go to the airport tomorrow morning, run out onto the tarmac, and shake my fist at my mother’s incoming plane and scream, “SCABIES YOU MOTHER FUCKER< SCABIES!!” I told my mother to mail one of her towels to Jaye’s mom so that maybe she can get the scabies too. I’m so upset. Emotional whirlwind right now. *drinks lots of beer*


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