Channeling the addiction

One thing that always bothered me about internet addiction was the disproportionate ratio between what I put in to it and what I got out of it. It bothered me that I was into something so hardcore, and put so much hyperfocus, superpower energy into whatever I was addicted to at the time, only to get nothing out of it in the end. Sure, it makes for great stories, like the time I watched all ten years of Friends in four months. (To watch people age that quickly was sobering.) Or when I decided I was going to learn to speak Vietnamese? (How hard could a language made up of three letter words be, really?). Or that collaborative story that I wrote with two others that netted me 10,000 emails that I still have to this day?

And while for a moment, looking cool to other addicts was fairly awesome, all it really gave me in the end was a greater need to shower than other people my age. I had the same level of drive and motivation as that guy who owned his own company and made his first million by 30.  I was just out of control with putting that energy in the wrong place.

I started my own business a couple of months ago, but it was more out of fear of leaving my comfort zone than anything. Having fallen into it, I’m gradually making the transition from Independent Contractor to LLC. I’m not there yet, but I’ve got four people under me at this point, and I’m beginning to invest in my company. It never occurred to me to purchase tools that would give me an edge, make things easier. Streamline. The concept is very exciting to me, because as one person I can only work so many days in a row without sleep. The tools, and the people, increase my ability to use my superpowers. I’m having a blast.

Of course, I’m still in front of the computer 20 hours at a time… but, this time it’s toward something that’s growing, something that could possibly have a greater output than the energy put into it. Maybe not quite yet, but one day it will.

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